Anonymous asked: can vampires smoke weed
Edward totally gets baked all the time, why else would he have approved of the name “Renesmee”?
Public Service Announcement: Twilight did not ruin vampires
The reputation of vampires was already in the dirt long before ‘Twilight’ existed as either a book series, a movie series or a dream in Stephenie Meyer’s head. ‘Twilight’ did not ruin vampires, teenage mall goths did. The vampire books of the Victorian era were a sort of “chastity porn” for women - full of passion and desire but without the chance of consummation. ‘Twilight’ simply allowed horny girls and women (old ladies especially) to reclaim what was always rightfully theirs.
pros and cons of Twilight vampirism
REASONS TO BE A VAMPIRE
- Live forever.
- Be young and sexy forever.
- Have crazy sex for 2 weeks straight.
- Save money on groceries.
- Save money on gas by running everywhere.
- Climb trees like a monkey.
- Become good at baseball.
- Kill people you don’t like.
- Red eyes and pale skin are sexy.
- Make fun of veggie vamps.
- Sexually assault Edward Cullen.
- Kill the Volturi, take that shit over.
- Have a special power & use it for personal gain.
- You could probably get a reality show out of it.
- Never have to sleep.
- Never have to poop.
- Sparkling is kinda cool.
REASONS TO NOT BE A VAMPIRE
- You’re forced to see how shitty the world gets.
- Your body is made of marble or something.
- You’d never taste cheeseburgers, coffee or Nutella again.
- It would get boring eventually.
- You don’t even give a fuck about baseball.
- Why would you want to climb trees like a monkey?
- You’d miss dreaming.
- You might even miss pooping.
- You might miss your family and friends.
- Sparkling is kinda lame.