@ crazy anon
Hey Rob, this is going to sound really odd, but there’s an anon in my inbox who says she knows what you do with your penis. In fact, she has been meticulously tracking your penile activities for the past 3 years.
Yeah, I know, she seems a little unstable. She seems a little too fixated on you, your penis and Kristen. Do you need her “support?”
Would you like me to give her a message from you?
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